HOW TO TELL YOUR KIDS YOU'RE DIVORCING
Posted: November 16, 2017
Telling your kids that you and your spouse are getting a divorce is one of the most difficult conversations you will probably ever have. While there may be tears, anger and questions, there are ways you can alleviate some of their pain. Here are five tips to help you tell your kids you’re divorcing:
- Plan what you’ll say: Don’t think that you can improvise this conversation. Get together with your spouse and come up with key messages that you think are important for kids to hear, such as letting them know that the divorce is not their fault. At the same time, don’t say anything inappropriate and keep it as simple as possible, depending on their age. You don’t want to overwhelm them with a flurry of words.
- Choose the right place and time: Pick a time and place that’s appropriate. If you can, get your family all together to provide additional support. Try and tell your kids at a time when you’ll be available to talk for hours after the conversation, so preferably before the weekend starts. You don’t want to drop a bombshell on a child a few hours before they go to school, because it may affect their concentration and mood.
3.Keep a unified parental front: No matter what you say, say it together with your spouse. Even if you’re on bad terms, your kids will feel more secure and less anxious if they have both parents talking to them about the divorce. Also, don’t play the blame game; that could derail the entire conversation.
- Be open to questions: You kids will need time to process all of this information, and as you very well know, kids are inquisitive. After your conversation, you should be open to any questions they have. Better yet, prepare answers to common questions so that you’re not stuttering out the wrong thing in the moment. Answering their questions will open the door for ongoing dialogue, which is a good thing.
- Stay calm: If you get anxious, your kids will get anxious. If you start yelling, they will yell. Do your best to act composed, even if you are nervous, for the sake of your children. Take a deep breath and think twice before acting on impulse.
If you want to get divorced or are in the process, please contact the Springfield family law attorneys. We can answer all the questions you have, provide legal guidance, and help you navigate this tough and complex process.
Call (417) 658-4172 or contact us online to schedule a case consultation.